Pedofilia

Setting out from her own experience of abuse, a displacement is proposed of the symbolic order in terms of the debate on paedophilia and, in general, the violence of men against women and girls and boys. Since there is no male adult absolutely above suspicion. “The problem of male sexuality and its symbolic –writes the author– lies before us in all its seriousness. Each time that a paedophile is publicly accused, we should not run the risk of making all the rest of men believe that, in “doing justice”, the score is settled. It is necessary, rather, to be careful with the good men, who want to protect those they love from the disorders and imbalances of the bad men: male sexuality is one and the same, the only distinction possible lies between those who accept responsibility and the risks it carries and those that believe that it is more than a ‘natural’ thing to us. For the first, it turns into a life commitment: for the second, it is in danger of being a risk whose vicissitudes can depend on chance (the “temptations” that each one, when least expecting it, might find on his path)”. Given all of this, the author proposes that the victims speak, in such a way that their stories are really listened to. And that they are deeply loved. “Much is spoken of the presumed sickness suffered by the abusers;” –she writes– “I would like us to talk about the real sickness of the victims, and of those who give them time to heal, of the men and the women who care for their wounds with solicitude, patience and bravery, whilst penal justice duly follows its course. My life today has been given to me by those who cared for me and gave me back wholeness, they helped me to give up hate and to choose freedom again. If the work of love that labours tirelessly around the pain of violence were to be placed at the centre of the public debate, we would perhaps have a more precise idea of the extent to which the misery is on the side of those who, raping women, boys and girls, exclude themselves from the best that human beings are capable of, that being relationships of care based on exchange and gratuity.”